The Bromance Zone by Lauren Blakely
It’s just a fact—the bigger the dick, the bigger the dick.
Which sucks, and not in a good way. Is it fair that the guys who are packing are also lacking—oh, you know—common courtesy? No.
The Big Dick Law is one of the sadder items on My List of Ignore at Your Peril Life Lessons. Some of the others?
- Texting an ex is always a bad idea.
- So is just one more shot. Anything that seems like a good plan when you’re drunk . . . isn’t. As a bartender, I can refuse to serve you that last drink, but you’re on your own if you forget Lesson #1.
- Life is too short to take yourself too seriously.
- Whatever the problem, a blow job is often the answer.
- Trusted friends are priceless. Men come and go, but your friends will stick with you when the big dicks don’t.
But I’m not bitter about those guys. Anyone who walks out of my life is gone for a reason.
Besides, it’s not as if I’m always the walk-ee.
This man is not afraid to walk away. I’m not clingy, I don’t hang on too long, and I sure as hell know when to say see you later, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. There’s no need to give your heart, time, or skills to just anyone.
If a man wants what I have going on, he damn well better deserve what I bring to the table.
And the bedroom.
And the shower.
But I suppose at the ripe young age of twenty-nine I wouldn’t mind finally meeting Mister Right.
I’m just a good guy ready for another good guy.
Someone fun, smart, open-minded, and loyal.
Ideally, he’d also be outdoorsy, adventuresome (yes, that kind, but also all kinds), and love dogs.
That’s not too much to ask for.
I only have one deal-breaker—he can’t be a friend.
My friends mean everything to me. They’ve been by my side through the best and the worst, and I’ve been by theirs. My friends are my family, and that’s why I won’t break that commandment—no matter how great the temptation.
Temptation in the form of a long-time pal with the hot nerd glasses and full lips, the wicked sense of humor and the sarcasm for days.
But this is the Unbreakable Rule, truer even than the Big Dick Law.
Friends don’t bang friends.
I’ve stuck to this rule for eight years when it comes to my best bud from college. After this long, one road trip isn’t going to break me.
And that’s a fact.